The first time I consciously learned about listening was in my Doula training over 7 years ago. The teacher paired us off and asked us to introduce ourselves and why we were there. The listener was to abide by these instructions:
- Cue the speaker that you are engaged in what they are saying– eye contact, head nods, a quick clarifying question, repeat something that they said back to them.
- Don’t interrupt
- It’s about them, not you. Don’t compare their experience with one that you or someone you know has had! We all do it with good intentions, thinking our anecdotes will be helpful. But in fact, it takes attention and importance away from the speaker and their experience!
- Most importantly, listen with the intent to listen, not to respond.
Ever since this quick exercise, good listening has been part of my self-betterment practice.
Listening is literally 80% of my job. The other 20% is giving lifestyle, nutritional, herbal, and intuitive feedback based on what my clients share with me.
You may be wondering about my mention of “self-betterment practices”. As a human being, it is important to work on yourself as you help others, no matter your walk of life. We all serve each other. Self-betterment IS self-care. This self-work is an ongoing practice, not a state that you achieve once and indefinitely. Work on it all the time. You won’t always get it right, and that’s okay. It is not the final destination but the journey itself.
On days I struggle with self-betterment and self-care, I remind myself: I was a fraction of what I am now, and I am a fraction of who I will be in the future.
So keep exploring yourself. Learn through observing and doing, and this will lead to GROWTH.
Thanks for listening.
P.S. Here’s a link to an inspirational TedTalk on listening that helped prompt today’s post:
Ted Talk 10 Ways to Have a Better Conversation by Celeste Headlee
Photo by Joe Longo Photography